What?! Manipulation…do we do that? What is it exactly? I looked it up. Defined, manipulation is the skillful handling, controlling or using of something or someone. Whether it’s the sculpture you made in art class or how you convinced your friend to do your homework — both are considered manipulation.

Leaders who manipulate are generally not well liked. They low-grade manage more than they lead. When these leaders’ backs are turned, those in their charge generally resort to doing things their own way or try to manipulate someone else to do the job they were supposed to do because of the way they are being led. Manipulators breed other manipulators. Using people is not what God wants. Being used is a degrading feeling when manipulated from a heart of selfishness. To manipulate is a form of bullying.

I read some good advice a long time ago that has helped me, “A skilled communicator seeks to persuade–NEVER to manipulate. The difference between manipulation and persuasion arises out of the purity of one’s motive. If a speaker desires to move a crowd in order to achieve his own ends, he manipulates. If he seeks to motivate people in order to glorify God and improve the lives of those to whom he speaks, he persuades.” (Dewey Bertolini, Back to the Heart of Youth Work)

Have we been put in charge? Who are we as a leader? Do we lead with our heart? Probably. Then what is in our heart? These are questions for reflection today. Need help? Let’s reread Philippians 2 that gives us the example of Jesus Christ’s leadership.

Dear Heavenly Father, You have given us many opportunities to lead. We repent of those times when we manipulated just to get a task done in our own way instead of persuading others, to see and accomplish Your will and purpose, Your way, for Your glory, honor and praise. Forgive us of using people. Help us to, instead, honor others by recognizing their gifts and talents. Help us to realize we are all in this together with You, ultimately and forever, in charge! In Jesus Name, Amen.