Romans–Passionate Christian Theology

“Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.”
Romans 12, The Message

Yesterday I promised to think a bit more about how to be more creative in our hospitality. I found something that might help as a beginning to igniting our passion for hospitality. Let’s begin with suggestions for being more aware and intentional of those around you at your church.

Here are a few ways of simple, gracious hospitality behaviors that might help:

1. The 3 minute rule.
Spend the three minutes just before and just after the worship service greeting those we do not know. So often people visit with those they know at church and believe that they have a friendly congregation. Yet when visitors come, their experience too often is that, other than ushers and greeters, no one speaks to them. So the “3 minute rule” reminds people to be intentional about greeting and getting to know someone they don’t know during these two times.

2. The 10 foot rule.
Greet anyone we don’t know within 10 feet of us. No one wants the entire congregation converging on them when they visit. Instead, those who are closest to worship guests take responsibility for introducing ourselves and engaging them in friendly conversation that is sincere. Begin with saying your name and then allow them to offer theirs.

3. It’s all about them.
This comes from a conversation I had with someone shopping for a church when they had moved to another location. They were trying to discern the right congregation for them. She said that during some of their visits, when people did speak to them – and they often didn’t – “we felt like fresh meat in a lion’s den.” She said people descended upon them wanting her to teach Sunday School and her husband to be on this or that committee. “We weren’t looking for a job, we were looking for a church family.”

She went on to say that at one church a man started telling her all about their financial struggles and did everything but give her a pledge card. “I think people forget that visitors aren’t visiting because they want to fill some position or bail the church out financially.” “It’s all about them,” means that first time visitors should never be treated as the answer to the congregation’s needs.

Rather, we need to explore with them how the congregation can be the answer to their needs. So, instead of trying to get our guests to help our church, tell them something you love about the church, try to get to know them a bit, ask what they are looking for in a church home and explore with them how the congregation can assist them in their journey.

Even better, tell them more about how Jesus has transformed you and how God works in and through all of us. Let them see Jesus in You, because that’s who they are searching for in their own lives. Help others know Him more as an attitude and lifestyle encourages people to stay and find our more.

4. Help them make connections.
This has two parts. As you begin to get to know a guest and learn what they are looking for in a congregation, help them make connections with others who are like them and who can assist them in finding whatever they are searching for.

If they have youth, introduce them to another family with youth or with the youth pastor. If they are retired from Michigan, introduce them to someone else who is retired from Michigan. If they are interested in missions, connect them with persons who are involved in missions in your congregation. You get the point.

And the second part of “Help them make connections” involves receiving hand-offs well when people get introduced to you. Help them feel welcomed and make the connections for which they are looking. In other words, don’t just say, “Oh, hi,” and then turn back to your friends and ignore them like they are an interruption. Instead, be intentional about receiving them and helping them make the connections for which they are searching.

5. Remember their names and use them.
It’s such a simple thing, but so powerful. There are places of business I frequent because of staff members that remember my name and greet me using it every time I go. I find myself looking for them when I go there.

Just that simple thing – which I’m sure they are trained to do – makes me feel more like I belong when I walk in the door. People are people, whether they are new at the a place of business or new at the church.

Dear Heavenly Father, We make hospitality harder than it is…like Martha trying to serve You and Your helpers a huge elaborate meal when chips and dip, hugs and knowing our names and passing around some dignity for being known is all that is needed. Help us to be more creative and inventive with hospitality to others in our lives, at work, at play and most of all, at YOUR church of humans who all seek to belong and be accepted and known. Help us to keep every encounter simple, sincere and powerful…In Jesus Name, Amen