We began Finding Focus Ministries about ten years ago. About six years ago another call came to us that curtailed our activity with FFM for awhile. The command, “honor your parents”, was laid heavy on my heart. My aging parents, in not great health, still lived in Oklahoma. Randy and I live in Indiana. Our grown children and grandchildren live nearby us. By God’s grace and impression on my parents’ hearts and minds, they consented to moving near us. We sold their home in three weeks for a great price that would allow them comfort in living out their days. We brought them near us. Mom died shortly thereafter in 2009. Dad would not be able to live by himself, so we moved him in with us a few months after mom’s death.

The transition from living as two working people with crazy schedules to a third person who wanted to be in every conversation took some extra effort in the “honor your parents” mandate from our Father in heaven. Dad didn’t care too much for my cooking, saw the glass half empty (grumpy), needed certain foods, had weird habits and paid no attention to whether is was night or day, was hard of hearing so the TV was pretty loud, and “needed” name brands foods as well as buckets and buckets of chocolate chip ice cream. But, we did it. We provided him with his own half of our small home. He was able to live out his days over the next six years with his own bedroom, a TV room and his own bathroom. My goal was to make him happy. I didn’t always succeed.

He is now gone. He passed from this life to the arms of Jesus and my smiling mom, December 23, 2015. Because I had to stay strong for dad over the loss of mom, I am now grieving the loss of both parents. God comforts me (and Randy who lost both of his parents earlier) with “you obeyed”.

This is what I think about as I read Paul’s continued help to the church with HOW to love.

Ephesians 6, The Message
1-3 Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. “Honor your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, “so you will live well and have a long life.”

This is not just a suggestion but a commandment, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

“Honoring our fathers and our mothers, includes esteem of them, shown in our conduct; obedience to their lawful commands; come when they call you, go where they send you, do what they bid you, refrain from what they forbid you; and this, as children, cheerfully, and from a principle of love. Also in submission to their counsels and corrections. Endeavoring, in every thing, to comfort parents, and to make their old age easy; maintaining them if they need support, which our Savior makes to be particularly intended in this commandment, Mt 15:4-6.” –Matthew Henry’s Commentary

We were not always perfect in our transitional living conditions, but our deep love and adoration remained strong for each other. I look for dad’s light, still. I expect him to be in his chair, reading his Bible and “The Daily Bread”, or simply watching TV. I still look for him to come in for another bowl of ice cream. Yes, I love you dad and I miss you but I know you are finally, totally happy, in paradise with God you love along with mom whom you adored. I could never make you as happy as you must be now. I praise God for your life. I praise God for helping me help you.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your comfort in mourning as I write this. Thank you for helping us through the tough stuff of this life. Thank you for being our Heavenly Father who loves us so much we can’t totally wrap our minds around it. Continue to transform our lives into all You intended for us to be…then do.
In Jesus Name, Amen

The way you treat your parents is the way your children will treat you. Good or bad. It’s truth.