“If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is a phrase I knew well and experienced as a child and young adult growing up in a Christian home.  Before I understood the motive for discipline, I would merely do just enough to avoid making mom or dad mad.  (The organic form of people pleasing.)  As a child, I was compliant just enough to avoid trouble as I obeyed the “rules of engagement” set before me for living under their roof.  It never occurred to me that I broke their hearts because of their relentless love for when I disobeyed, wanting the best for me.  Dumb, really dumb.

But then I married and soon became a mom.  When the first child came, I thought how can I love anyone more (besides my husband)?  Our love for this child and two more to follow changed all our thinking with new life perspectives.  This love for a child drove us to protect them at all costs, provide for all their needs so they could grow healthy and strong in all ways.  We wanted to give them experiences that would teach them.  We gave them the story of Jesus and His love.  We tried to live the gospel of salvation and forgiveness out loud in front of them, not perfectly, but showing them the perfect love and forgiveness that Jesus offered.  So, it broke our hearts when they didn’t obey.   

Yes, it wasn’t until I became a parent that I fully understood why it broke my parent’s heart when I disobeyed, totally avoiding what was best for me.  My parents who had the love of God in them loved me deeply.  When you love your children unconditionally, you correct behaviors that might hurt their ability to reconcile to God as they function in the world with others.  Mom and Dad were prayer warriors, asking for wisdom for their inner nature rebellious children. “You just want me to be good so you look good to others” was my battle cry as a child—until I became the parent and discovered it wasn’t that at all. 

Looking back, I learned that my parents loved me enough to confront me in areas that could cause me to crash later—truly for my own good.  They corrected and disciplined me because they loved me and wanted the best for me which was to mature in the love of God and in His ways.  Truth telling was at the top of their chart for behavior.  “Lying just puts off and denies what should have been done in the first place.”  “Lying makes you miserable and weakens your resolve, knowing that you have to work harder to cover up the lies.”  “Telling the truth upfront is easier to deal with and live with in the long run.” “Fake it ‘til you make it” was not ever a part of my parent’s belief system or vocabulary. 

Matthew 23, The Message

Frauds!

¹³ “I’ve had it with you! You’re hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God’s kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won’t let anyone else in either.

¹⁵ “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You go halfway around the world to make a convert, but once you get him you make him into a replica of yourselves, double-damned.

^16-22 “You’re hopeless! What arrogant stupidity! You say, ‘If someone makes a promise with his fingers crossed, that’s nothing; but if he swears with his hand on the Bible, that’s serious.’ What ignorance! Does the leather on the Bible carry more weight than the skin on your hands? And what about this piece of trivia: ‘If you shake hands on a promise, that’s nothing; but if you raise your hand that God is your witness, that’s serious’? What ridiculous hairsplitting! What difference does it make whether you shake hands or raise hands? A promise is a promise. What difference does it make if you make your promise inside or outside a house of worship? A promise is a promise. God is present, watching and holding you to account regardless.

^23-24 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God’s Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment—the absolute basics!—you carelessly take it or leave it. Careful bookkeeping is commendable, but the basics are required. Do you have any idea how silly you look, writing a life story that’s wrong from start to finish, nitpicking over commas and semicolons?

^25-26 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You buff the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something.

^27-28 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.

^29-32 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You build granite tombs for your prophets and marble monuments for your saints. And you say that if you had lived in the days of your ancestors, no blood would have been on your hands. You protest too much! You’re cut from the same cloth as those murderers, and daily add to the death count.

^33-34 “Snakes! Cold-blooded sneaks! Do you think you can worm your way out of this? Never have to pay the piper? It’s on account of people like you that I send prophets and wise guides and scholars generation after generation—and generation after generation you treat them like dirt, greeting them with lynch mobs, hounding them with abuse.

^35-36 “You can’t squirm out of this: Every drop of righteous blood ever spilled on this earth, beginning with the blood of that good man Abel right down to the blood of Zechariah, Barachiah’s son, whom you murdered at his prayers, is on your head. All this, I’m telling you, is coming down on you, on your generation.

^37-39 “Jerusalem! Jerusalem! Murderer of prophets! Killer of the ones who brought you God’s news! How often I’ve ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me. And now you’re so desolate, nothing but a ghost town. What is there left to say? Only this: I’m out of here soon. The next time you see me you’ll say, ‘Oh, God has blessed him! He’s come, bringing God’s rule!’”

WHAT DO WE LEARN—HOW DO WE RESPOND?

“How often I’ve ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me…” expresses the love God has for us!

If you have ever prayed the challenge prayer, “God, break my heart of those things that break your heart,” only then can you read with understanding Jesus’ lament against the frauds who teach and live fake lives among His People.  Recalling a parent’s love for their children gives me a greater perspective.  God is our Father who loves us beyond our ability to think or imagine.  He loves all His created.  He loves people so much it breaks His heart when people block others from seeking and seeing Him in full view.  Those who require people who come into God’s church to be and act just like us to be acceptable—also breaks God’s heart.  Jesus, who is God in the flesh, come down to save us and teach us what God’s love is, makes it all crystal clear; Fakes and frauds break the heart of God.  He wants to bless while frauds make a mess!

PAUSE TO REFLECT AND PRAY…

Am I roadblock or a door opener to God’s Kingdom thinking and living?

Do I point people to Jesus as the standard for living or to me?

Do I THINK before I speak?  The acronym teaches us to filter our speech as follows:

This thinking filter comes from knowing God for God is Love.  The fruits of His Holy Spirit are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23) These holy fruits are the characteristics of God, that through discipline, He develops and matures in us!  

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”  James 1:19-25

Lord,

I would rather be blessed than be responsible for making a mess.  So, I confess my messes and pray that you would turn my mess to a message of blessings—of growing and maturing in your love and in your character.  I love you with all my heart, mind, and soul.  Help me to love others like you love me.

In Jesus Name, Amen