Paranoia is synonymous with fear, mistrust, suspicion, and obsession.

When we fear the losses of affection, trust, and loyalty of those around us; we tend to first look at what is wrong with them instead of looking inside to see what has gone wrong with us. King Saul refuses to look inside himself and is obsessed with being god of his small world. He trusts no one, not even his own son, and feels he has the right to murder all those he thinks disagrees with him.  King Saul throws spears in anger at those most loyal to him and then wonders why they run from him. 

But at the heart of this king’s demise is God’s rejection of Saul’s his evil, disobedient behaviors toward the God of all.  Without God’s Holy Spirit in Saul he is now paranoid, angry, and most arrogant.  It is God who is sovereign and has all authority.  God knows all hearts and knows that King Saul’s heart is full of deceit, resentment and bitterness.  Because King Saul has rejected God; God is removing him from his position as King of Israel and replacing him with a man after God’s own heart—David. Deep inside, Saul knows that his days are ending, so his paranoia builds to heights beyond self-control.   `

When God is no longer our focus in life; our life grows dim and dark with worry, frustration, and deep anxieties beyond our control.  We do life at work and at home based on our own presumptions and assumptions without power.  We love less and judge more. Hate becomes the force of our existence.  We unfairly punish others quickly before they betray us driven by our own lack of discipline, loyalty, and faith in God. We live in rejection of all that is good and best for us.  We operate with guilt deep inside our souls.  We walk in darkness, succumbing to being and doing all things that are dark until we come back to God through Jesus who is Truth and Light.  In the middle of all this is a waste of precious time.

1 Samuel 22

David at Adullam and Mizpah

David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there. ² All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four hundred men were with him.

³ From there David went to Mizpah in Moab and said to the king of Moab, “Would you let my father and mother come and stay with you until I learn what God will do for me?” ⁴ So he left them with the king of Moab, and they stayed with him as long as David was in the stronghold.

⁵ But the prophet Gad said to David, “Do not stay in the stronghold. Go into the land of Judah.” So David left and went to the forest of Hereth.

Saul Kills the Priests of Nob

⁶ Now Saul heard that David and his men had been discovered. And Saul was seated, spear in hand, under the tamarisk tree on the hill at Gibeah, with all his officials standing at his side. ⁷ He said to them, “Listen, men of Benjamin! Will the son of Jesse give all of you fields and vineyards? Will he make all of you commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds? ⁸ Is that why you have all conspired against me? No one tells me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is concerned about me or tells me that my son has incited my servant to lie in wait for me, as he does today.”

⁹ But Doeg the Edomite, who was standing with Saul’s officials, said, “I saw the son of Jesse come to Ahimelek son of Ahitub at Nob. ¹⁰ Ahimelek inquired of the Lord for him; he also gave him provisions and the sword of Goliath the Philistine.”

¹¹ Then the king sent for the priest Ahimelek son of Ahitub and all the men of his family, who were the priests at Nob, and they all came to the king. ¹² Saul said, “Listen now, son of Ahitub.”

“Yes, my lord,” he answered.

¹³ Saul said to him, “Why have you conspired against me, you and the son of Jesse, giving him bread and a sword and inquiring of God for him, so that he has rebelled against me and lies in wait for me, as he does today?”

¹⁴ Ahimelek answered the king, “Who of all your servants is as loyal as David, the king’s son-in-law, captain of your bodyguard and highly respected in your household? ¹⁵ Was that day the first time I inquired of God for him? Of course not! Let not the king accuse your servant or any of his father’s family, for your servant knows nothing at all about this whole affair.”

¹⁶ But the king said, “You will surely die, Ahimelek, you and your whole family.”

¹⁷ Then the king ordered the guards at his side: “Turn and kill the priests of the Lord, because they too have sided with David. They knew he was fleeing, yet they did not tell me.”

But the king’s officials were unwilling to raise a hand to strike the priests of the Lord.

¹⁸ The king then ordered Doeg, “You turn and strike down the priests.” So Doeg the Edomite turned and struck them down. That day he killed eighty-five men who wore the linen ephod. ¹⁹ He also put to the sword Nob, the town of the priests, with its men and women, its children and infants, and its cattle, donkeys and sheep.

²⁰ But one son of Ahimelek son of Ahitub, named Abiathar, escaped and fled to join David. ²¹ He told David that Saul had killed the priests of the Lord. ²² Then David said to Abiathar, “That day, when Doeg the Edomite was there, I knew he would be sure to tell Saul. I am responsible for the death of your whole family. ²³ Stay with me; don’t be afraid. The man who wants to kill you is trying to kill me too. You will be safe with me.”

WHAT DO WE LEARN—HOW DO WE RESPOND?

As Saul falls; David rises as the true leader.  However, as David rises, his faith falters as he runs from Saul. His desperation and hunger becomes evident when he meets the priest Ahimelek and lies to him.  Oh, David, you didn’t have to do that. Isn’t that what we might be thinking?  Desperate, David resorts to two lies only to get fed. Ahimelek wants to help but only has the holy bread of Presence, the “show bread” from the altar to feed himself and his men. David is now forcing the priest to sin.  This bread after being on the altar for a week, according to Law, meant for priests to eat.

This surprises us. So far David has been stellar, spotless, stainless but when speared to the wall and on the run from his enemy; fear takes over his thoughts and actions.  Do we do that?

David’s first lie was to tell the priest he was on a mission for Saul.  We all know that he was running from Saul!  David’s second lie was in response to Ahimelek’s way of stretching the law by asking if his men were pure and responsible enough to eat the bread.  David said, of course!  The priest had no reason to doubt the one famous for slaying the giant in the Name of Yahweh!  Our lies no only hurt ourselves but all those around us.  Everyone suffers from the deeds of darkness.

What happened?  Is David already losing his God-focus?  Is the defeat of Goliath by Gd through David only a faint memory? Truly desperation has set in.  When that happens, our real Enemy takes our desperation as his clue to dive in to distract our focus, discourage our being, disrupt our lives with lies, dismantle our belief system with attention on self.  Satan’s ultimate goal is to destroy our faith in Almighty, All Powerful God.  Turn back to God to avoid all these pitfalls; it is God who overcomes, prevails and never fails to defeat the enemy in victory.  In the end—God wins!

OUR RESPONSE? Sometimes our desperation or fear causes us to act rashly and displease God. Such acts separate us from our eternal Father and strain our relationship with him. As soon as we are aware of what is happening in us—run to God, and confess in Jesus Name!  Ask for His cleansing, renewing, refreshing, and restoration.  Need help with the words? David the poet and a man after God’s own heart provides all we need to say—

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.  Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar.” (Psalm 51)

Humbly praying this with a sincere heart gets God’s attention and brings our view of God back into clear focus. Pray in Jesus Name for HE provided the Way back to God.  God answers prayers of humble repentance.  Jesus said all of heaven stops to listen to our repentant prayers and then wildly rejoices in our redemption!  “I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”—Jesus, Luke 15:10

Lord,

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

In Jesus Name, Amen