There seems to be “born-leaders” who rise up in any group of people gathers to work, play, or just be in conversation.  If you observe people long enough, like I enjoy doing, we see from young to old a leader will always come forward to guide the group.  In fact, where two or three are gathered, a leader is among them and will begin to lead and influence the group within minutes.  Who we follow makes a difference in our lives and in the lives of those we live and work alongside.  Who we lead also is detrimental to the quality of lives of those led.  The greater question to consider is:  Who leads the leader?

Who is the real leader of the house of Saul?

Who is the real leader of the house of David? 

Our passage today helps us to see the greater purpose and plan of God who is the One and Only Sovereign Leader of all His People. What HE says happens.  David seeks the heart of God, inquires of God and listens to his direction, and then trusts and obeys what God says.  David will rise as Abner gives in to David as the anointed King of Israel. 

Watch closely, as Abner, once the devoted and loyal commander of the house of Saul, who took it upon himself to anoint the least son of Saul to be king, but later realizes that David is indeed the anointed one of God to be the next King of Israel. Abner’s inner integrity takes over his being. God has a way of changing hearts.

Abner comes to David to make peace with a bonus. Abner, a man of influence, promises to command all who followed him and the house of Saul to now follow and be loyal to the house of David! We admire Abner for this act of noble character. However, read what happens next!    

2 Samuel 3

The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.

² Sons were born to David in Hebron:

His firstborn was Amnon the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel;

³ his second, Kileab the son of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel;

the third, Absalom the son of Maakah daughter of Talmai king of Geshur;

⁴ the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith;

the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital;

⁵ and the sixth, Ithream the son of David’s wife Eglah.

These were born to David in Hebron.

Abner Goes Over to David

⁶ During the war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner had been strengthening his own position in the house of Saul. ⁷ Now Saul had had a concubine named Rizpah daughter of Aiah. And Ish-Bosheth said to Abner, “Why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?”

⁸ Abner was very angry because of what Ish-Bosheth said. So he answered, “Am I a dog’s head—on Judah’s side? This very day I am loyal to the house of your father Saul and to his family and friends. I haven’t handed you over to David. Yet now you accuse me of an offense involving this woman! ⁹ May God deal with Abner, be it ever so severely, if I do not do for David what the Lord promised him on oath ¹⁰ and transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and establish David’s throne over Israel and Judah from Dan to Beersheba.” ¹¹ Ish-Bosheth did not dare to say another word to Abner, because he was afraid of him.

¹² Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to say to David, “Whose land is it? Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you.”

¹³ “Good,” said David. “I will make an agreement with you. But I demand one thing of you: Do not come into my presence unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul when you come to see me.” ¹⁴ Then David sent messengers to Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, demanding, “Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for the price of a hundred Philistine foreskins.”

¹⁵ So Ish-Bosheth gave orders and had her taken away from her husband Paltiel son of Laish. ¹⁶ Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go back home!” So he went back.

¹⁷ Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and said, “For some time you have wanted to make David your king. ¹⁸ Now do it! For the Lord promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.’”

¹⁹ Abner also spoke to the Benjamites in person. Then he went to Hebron to tell David everything that Israel and the whole tribe of Benjamin wanted to do. ²⁰ When Abner, who had twenty men with him, came to David at Hebron, David prepared a feast for him and his men. ²¹ Then Abner said to David, “Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.

Joab Murders Abner

²² Just then David’s men and Joab returned from a raid and brought with them a great deal of plunder. But Abner was no longer with David in Hebron, because David had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. ²³ When Joab and all the soldiers with him arrived, he was told that Abner son of Ner had come to the king and that the king had sent him away and that he had gone in peace.

²⁴ So Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Look, Abner came to you. Why did you let him go? Now he is gone! ²⁵ You know Abner son of Ner; he came to deceive you and observe your movements and find out everything you are doing.”

²⁶ Joab then left David and sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern at Sirah. But David did not know it. ²⁷ Now when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into an inner chamber, as if to speak with him privately. And there, to avenge the blood of his brother Asahel, Joab stabbed him in the stomach, and he died.

²⁸ Later, when David heard about this, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever innocent before the Lord concerning the blood of Abner son of Ner. ²⁹ May his blood fall on the head of Joab and on his whole family! May Joab’s family never be without someone who has a running sore or leprosy or who leans on a crutch or who falls by the sword or who lacks food.”

³⁰ (Joab and his brother Abishai murdered Abner because he had killed their brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon.)

³¹ Then David said to Joab and all the people with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and walk in mourning in front of Abner.” King David himself walked behind the bier. ³² They buried Abner in Hebron, and the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept also.

³³ The king sang this lament for Abner:

“Should Abner have died as the lawless die?
³⁴     Your hands were not bound,
    your feet were not fettered.
You fell as one falls before the wicked.”

And all the people wept over him again.

³⁵ Then they all came and urged David to eat something while it was still day; but David took an oath, saying, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I taste bread or anything else before the sun sets!”

³⁶ All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them. ³⁷ So on that day all the people there and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner.

³⁸ Then the king said to his men, “Do you not realize that a commander and a great man has fallen in Israel this day? ³⁹ And today, though I am the anointed king, I am weak, and these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for me. May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil deeds!”

WHAT DO WE LEARN—HOW DO WE RESPOND?

We must recall for understanding that David used to live in fortress of King Saul. As a young man David played his lyre and sang his songs to soothe Saul when he was depressed and moody.  David and Saul’s son Jonathan became best friends for life.    David saw most who came and went from the house of Saul and was very observant of who they were inside and out.  So, David knew Abner as Saul’s trusted and noble commander of Saul’s army.  He knew how powerful he was and how gifted he was as a commander of the forces.  David also met and fell in love with Saul’s daughter Michal who he later married and adored but was no longer able to be with because of Saul’s hunt to kill him.

War and Peace. Full circle.  Abner gives in to David’s leadership because he realizes that David is led by God. Michal is reunited with David.  All is well until one of David’s men, Joab, is out to seek revenge for the death of his brother, a victim of war and of Abner.

Who led Abner to make peace?  Who led David to forgive and agree to peace?

Who led Joab to destroy the peace to seek revenge?

Real change is an inside job. We might alter things a day or two with money and systems, but the heart of the matter is and always will be the matter of the heart.

Max Lucado writes;

“Our problem is sin. Not finances. Not budgets. Not overcrowded prisons or drug dealers. Our problem is sin. We are in rebellion against our Creator. We are separated from our Father. We are cut off from the source of life. A new president or policy won’t fix that. It can only be solved by God.

That’s why the Bible uses drastic terms like conversion, repentance, with lost and found.  Society may renovate, but only God recreates.”

Abner sought to be led by “the man after God’s own heart”—David.  When what or who you once believed proves to be false; God intervenes to guide us back to Him. God knows our hearts.  Have you noticed that in your life?  I certainly have in my life.

At this point of the story of God; we’d like to think that Abner once knew God and began to question Saul’s rejection of God. But he remained loyal Saul who trusted Abner with his life. Abner tried to hang on, even appointing Saul’s son as king; but it became increasingly evident that David was anointed by God to be King of Israel. 

Only God know the hearts of men and women.  Jesus makes all things new with redemption for our hearts.

Our response? Consider carefully and prayerfully who is leading our life right now?  God or the Prince of Darkness?  Whether we are currently leaders or followers (and we do both at certain times, according to certain situations); who is our greatest influencer of Truth? 

May God’s Holy Spirit convict us of the course corrections in our thinking, saying, and doing that need to be made. When asked, God will give us the power of His Spirit to overcome evil and make those changes much needed in our lives. To God be the glory!

Lord,

Thank you for alerting us to our own weaknesses of the heart while filling us with your Truth.  Cleanse our hearts of all that does not belong.  Renew our minds to more closely match your what you think is best for us.  Refresh our souls with your new, tender mercies. Restore the joy of your salvation that is consistently at work within us.

In Jesus Name, Amen