Have you ever—

• Told a friend your troubles in confidence; but your friend looks down or to the side as their brain tries to figure out how to fix it instead of looking in your face of pain with loving concern?
• Observed the trouble of your friend with a mind that jumped to assume, presume, with judgements and quick solutions?
• Said this? “If you would look inside yourself, you will most likely see what is wrong in you that caused this to happen to you.”

“All of us have sinned and fall short” of pleasing God in this area of our lives of loving, sharing our burdens, and caring for those in need.  Why?  Because of our sin nature of pleasing self.  We are led by our selfish desires to gain control over troubles and mishaps in our lives and in the lives of others.  But this is not our work.  It is God’s work in each one of us.  Only God knows what He is doing. Trust God; Listen to Him.  Our work is to look into the eyes of a friend in need and really SEE them, share the pain by  praying together for God’s wisdom, insight, understanding, with faith to deepen for all involved.

Usually when a person shares their troubles candidly; they are not looking for a fixer; but a listener and loving comforter who knows God, too.  Job’s friends failed to understand his situation and wrongly accused him of bringing his troubles upon himself through sin. Job defended himself against these accusations repeatedly in these passages after each friend spoke to him.  We learn that we must be careful in our assumptions. We must refrain from quick judgements because only God knows all the details of every situation. 

Job 6

Then Job replied:

² “If only my anguish could be weighed
    and all my misery be placed on the scales!
³ It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas—
    no wonder my words have been impetuous.
⁴ The arrows of the Almighty are in me,
    my spirit drinks in their poison;
    God’s terrors are marshaled against me.
⁵ Does a wild donkey bray when it has grass,
    or an ox bellow when it has fodder?
⁶ Is tasteless food eaten without salt,
    or is there flavor in the sap of the mallow?
⁷ I refuse to touch it;
    such food makes me ill.

⁸ “Oh, that I might have my request,
    that God would grant what I hope for,
⁹ that God would be willing to crush me,
    to let loose his hand and cut off my life!
¹⁰ Then I would still have this consolation—
    my joy in unrelenting pain—
    that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

¹¹ “What strength do I have, that I should still hope?
    What prospects, that I should be patient?
¹² Do I have the strength of stone?
    Is my flesh bronze?
¹³ Do I have any power to help myself,
    now that success has been driven from me?

¹⁴ “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
¹⁵ But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams,
    as the streams that overflow
¹⁶ when darkened by thawing ice
    and swollen with melting snow,
¹⁷ but that stop flowing in the dry season,
    and in the heat vanish from their channels.
¹⁸ Caravans turn aside from their routes;
    they go off into the wasteland and perish.
¹⁹ The caravans of Tema look for water,
    the traveling merchants of Sheba look in hope.
²⁰ They are distressed, because they had been confident;
    they arrive there, only to be disappointed.
²¹ Now you too have proved to be of no help;
    you see something dreadful and are afraid.
²² Have I ever said, ‘Give something on my behalf,
    pay a ransom for me from your wealth,
²³ deliver me from the hand of the enemy,
    rescue me from the clutches of the ruthless’?

²⁴ “Teach me, and I will be quiet;
    show me where I have been wrong.
²⁵ How painful are honest words!
    But what do your arguments prove?
²⁶ Do you mean to correct what I say,
    and treat my desperate words as wind?
²⁷ You would even cast lots for the fatherless
    and barter away your friend.

²⁸ “But now be so kind as to look at me.
    Would I lie to your face?
²⁹ Relent, do not be unjust;
    reconsider, for my integrity is at stake.
³⁰ Is there any wickedness on my lips?
    Can my mouth not discern malice?

WHAT DO WE LEARN—HOW DO WE RESPOND?

Job had two responses: One to his friends and then to God.

First, Job begged his three friends to stop talking and show more understanding and sympathy! Then he turned to God and passionately asked God to consider his current condition of pain and loss and lighten his sufferings before he died.  Powerless and hopeless from suffering and loss, Job pleads to God; “Then I would still have this consolation—my joy in unrelenting pain—that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

In other words, make me holy before you, God.  How many times have we prayed this prayer but didn’t take the time for God to do His work in and through us.

How can we be more loving, kind, and helpful for others who are suffering?  I want to know, don’t you?  First seek God.  Only God knows all the details as we expressed earlier.  We need to ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to truth then to guide our eyes to the person who is hurting. It is God who walks us through suffering on earth for He knows what lies ahead.  We do not.  So, it seems we should see the person more than the suffering.  Some of the best advice I ever receive from spiritual mentors in my life; The most important help you can provide is to show up, take a hand, sit with them, and be silent to listen while praying from your heart for them.  The hurting, mournful person feeling all hope is lost will remember these actions more than our words.  So true!

Warren Wiersbe writes;

“Out of his deep sorrow and brokenness, Job tried to respond to his friends. He voiced some eloquent observations that we ought to keep in mind anytime we are spending time with people who are hurt. Job’s words of confrontation represent accountability with tears.”—Wiersbe Study Bible

Wiersbe helps us to understand our blunders in ministering to people in pain;

• Job’s friends did not feel the heaviness of his suffering (6:1–3). No wonder Job had spoken so impetuously! His friends would have done the same if they carried the load that he carried. Job didn’t have the full revelation of heaven that believers have today, so his future was dim. We can read 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 and take heart.

• Job’s friends did not understand the bitterness of his suffering (6:4–7). Job felt like a target at which God was shooting poisoned arrows, and the poison was making Job’s spirit bitter. God had His army in array, shooting at one weak man; and Job’s friends were adding to the poison. What Job needed were words of encouragement that would feed his spirit and give him strength, but his friends only fed him useless and tasteless words.

• Job tried to get them to feel the hopelessness of his situation (6:8–13). Prolonged and intense suffering can make a person feel powerless to handle life, and this can lead to hopelessness. If you can’t control some of the elements that make up life, how can you plan for the future? Job exclaimed, “What strength do I have, that I should hope?” (v. 11).

• Job demonstrated how hopelessness can lead to a feeling of uselessness (6:8, 9). When you feel useless, you don’t want to live. This explains why Job wanted God to take his life!  Job didn’t attempt this himself, for he knew that suicide was wrong; but he prayed that God might take him out of his misery.

• Job pointed out the ineffectiveness of his friends’ ministry to him (6:14–30). They didn’t pity him or try to meet his needs. They were like a dry brook in the desert that disappoints thirsty travelers. They were his “friends” as long as he was prosperous; but when trouble came, they turned against him.

We will close today with the words of the Apostle Paul to God’s church then and applicable to us now;

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

While caring, pray the prayer of faith to God! 

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:13-16

No matter what—Pray to the One and Only God who is already at work within all who believe and call on His Name.

Lord,

We see our mistakes in ministry and confess our blunders.  Cleanse our hearts, remove all that is self-led.  Renew our minds, transform our behaviors.  Refresh and feed our souls.  Restore your relentless joy of you in us an us in you.  Help us to help others in your Name by your leading for your glory and their good.

In Jesus Name, Amen