Just because we can, legally, breaking up is hard to do as the song goes. It’s even harder to explain to God, who put us together according to what two people say in their premarital counseling and vowed in their ceremony to “have and to hold until death do us part.” We invite God into the ceremony but sometimes leave Him out of the marriage.
We must realize that marriage under God becomes a battleground for the evil one who fights hard to tear Godly marriages apart. That is his goal. The evil one will throw every temptations at us in his arsenal that is limited, but effective in driving a wedge between this most precious relationship created by God Himself.
God loves marriage between male and female whom He created because He loves us. God planned for the union between man and woman to grow so loving and close to each other that they become one flesh. “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Therefore, pray daily, “Lead us not into temptations but deliver us from evil”, as Jesus taught us to pray.
There will always be temptations to leave this union with sexual thoughts called lust of others thinking you could do better if given the chance. There will always be temptations to leave because of selfishness, pride, “greener grass”, because we always have this inner sin nature that wants more and more instead of being grateful and content for what you have.
In this world, and in Moses’ day apparently, men could make their sin nature of leaving legal by divorcing to pursue their desires with the right paperwork. Jesus reminds the Pharisees who are always taunting him with rules and regs, tradition and religion that this is about relationship. With Jesus life is ALWAYS about loving relationship with God and each other. We can count on that!
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
WHAT DO WE LEARN?
Jesus responds with “hard hearts” divorce but it’s not what God wanted from the beginning of creation. Divorce is not God’s design for His created. That’s why marriage is a commitment we should not take lightly.
We have heard in pastoral counseling from engaged couples, “Yeah, all that is good (counseling), but if it doesn’t work, no worries, we move on.” THIS is taking the marriage vows, under God’s eyes, praying for His blessing in the ceremony to be frivolous and breaks God’s heart for the two who enter in to His Presence for marriage. Marriages that stay in His Presence, asking for His help, wisdom, insight and understanding daily, realizing the love He has for them and loving like He loves them, for the rest of their lives, last.
THIS is a relationship with God and each other that no one can separate. God promises that to us.
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.” –God through the prophet Malachi, 2:16.
God hates divorce because He knows how much divorce hurts us. Our loving Father wants the best for us. He wants a loving, intimate relationship with us that lasts forever. His love goes deeper than we can imagine. His love sent His Son, Jesus Christ to save us by paying the debt of all our sin that resulted from our destructive selfishness that causes deep pain!
It’s not about the paperwork, it’s about a broken relationship that causes a pain that lasts forever. My aunt whose husband left her after the birth of their first baby says, “the pain is worse than death of a spouse for you are always reminded of the failure of a relationship.” Wow.
“Let no one separate” a relationship that is committed to God. Jesus knew and explained the exceptions. “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” When you are betrayed like this it is grounds for leaving. The offender who marries another commits adultery. Statistics show that many who divorce once will do it again because of the inability to have a Godly relationship. Begin with God first who created relationship.
If you divorced before finding and believing in Jesus, knowing God, trusting Him and following in His ways, forgiveness is complete for past failed relationships. Remember, God wants the BEST for each of His created. He knows that loving relationships reap dividends of love in abundant life living.
Love is the key. Love begins with God. No one can separate us from the love of God. No one.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
No. One. This is a forever relationship. Seek God in a forever relationship first, then seek what God wants in our relationships with each other. This is what God wants for us.
Love God. Love Your spouse like Jesus love us. Love your children. Love Others. In this order.
Ask God to protect your marriage.
Pray for your spouse’s best as God sees it.
Run from temptations.
Submit to each other with a desire to honor each other.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for marriage that reveals your heart of loving relationship. Thank you for the battles and trials that bring growth to our own marriage of 49 years. Thank you for the intimate, “let no one separate” love that we have for each other that began with our love for you and your love for each of us. Continue to help us grow in your character with gratitude for your love.
In Jesus Name, Amen