“You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar” my grandmas used to say when the cousins would gather and disagree over the rules of playing a game.  As the disagreements grew, nasty, hurtful words were said as weapons to get their own way.  It is that action that truly hurts the hearts of grandmas who love us unconditionally.  So, this phrase was used to help us see that sweeter words might be more convincing. It is more effective to be polite and encouraging than to be hostile or demanding.  I also overheard my grandparents say this to our parents when disagreements in church would arise.

“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Says the writer of Proverbs 16:24, known as the book of wisdom.  Wisdom is defined as “skills for living.” We all need skills of wisdom to get along with each other!

James takes time to write to us about the most offensive part of our body—the tongue.  All in one day of living we can use our tongues to encourage and later curse those who bother, oppose us, or get in our way!  Yep, it’s time for a checkup with close inspection of our tongues for a defining diagnosis for better health. 

Our tongues can make us or break us while taking others down with us.  So, open wide!  It’s time to take a long hard look—at the tongue!

James 3, The Message

When You Open Your Mouth

3 ^1-2 Don’t be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.

^3-5 A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!

^5-6 It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

^7-10 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!

^10-12 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?

Live Well, Live Wisely

^13-16 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish plotting. Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.

^17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

WHAT DO WE LEARN—HOW DO WE RESPOND?

Within the Body of Christ, there will always be someone with an agenda of arrogance, wanting their own way, seeking a higher position of importance within the Body. Sometimes that person is us! I am reminded of what Paul had to say about striving instead to be a heathy Body while growing and maturing in the love of God.  Here are some sweet honey wisdom statements from Ephesians 4:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

“Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

“…speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

 We strive to be more and more like Jesus, by God’s Holy Spirit power helping us in transforming our thinking, saying, and doing in our new life which leads to greater spiritual health and to life eternal!  May the Holy Spirit control our tongues!

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

^“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” 

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”  (Or your grandmas!)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

HOW?  THINK before we speak!  This is a great filter, prayed in Jesus Name, to help us use our tongues wisely;

• T- Is what I am about to say the Truth?
• H- Is what I am about to say going to be Helpful?
• I- Is what I am about to say going to be Inspiring?
• N- Is what I am about to say Necessary and Holy Spirit led at this time?
• K- Is what I am about to say going to be Kind and compassionate?

If what we are about to say tics all the boxes of THINK then use those words to build each other up, dripped in honey, “wonderful words of Life” delivered over our lips by our Holy Spirit-controlled tongue!

Avoid sarcasm, arrogance, boasting, deceitfulness and truth twisting and spinning with political maneuvering–at all costs!  For it may cost us our lives!

And Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

Lord,

We need your help!  Cleanse our hearts, for what flows from our hearts comes over our tongues.  Renew our minds to THINK before we speak.  Refresh our souls with your tender mercies.  Restore the joy and peace of your salvation at work within us.  May your Holy Spirit lead us and may we respond in ways that help each other and please you!

In Jesus Name, Amen